It’s Hilarious That This Photo of Michael Dukakis in a Tank has Defined his Career

For a moment in the summer of 1988, democratic presidential Michael Dukakis looked to be on a gilded path to the presidency. Late July polls showed him with a daunting 17-point lead over his challenger, Vice President George H.W. Bush. And while the 1980's, unlike today, weren’t marked by such devout partisanship (indeed the previous presidential election saw the second-most lopsided defeat in U.S. presidential history), a 17-point lead less than four months out from election day was still pretty alarming. The Massachusetts governor, who had overseen a period of startling economic recovery in the Bay State known as the “Massachusetts Miracle”, seemed a solid bet to become the 41st president of the United States.

And then he took a picture of himself in a fucking battle tank.

Dukakis would eventually lose to Bush that November in a defeat almost as lopsided as Walter Mondale’s in 1984. I’ve always believed that photo was the main reason.

Turns out that Michael Dukakis’ lead had totally evaporated by the time of the infamous September photo op in the M1 Abrams military battle tank. Effective criticisms from republican President Ronald Reagan; a well-regarded 1988 RNC; and Dukakis’ ineffectual, emotionless performances during the debates all reduced the photo to a Hail Mary, one last chance to regain his momentum.

That’s not the story that’s endured however. More then three decades later, the Dukakis campaign is remembered for one thing: that tank photo. But much like the Red Sox had already blown the lead to the Mets before Bill Buckner’s error caused him to be unfairly reviled forever, it’s sort of just become common knowledge that an embarrassing PR stunt ruined what had otherwise been a likely Dukakis victory.

And given the current state of presidential politics, that is pretty fucking hilarious.

Look: the photo is really goddamn goofy. Dukakis clearly has no business inside that tank, and the comically too-large helmet makes him look like a child playing dress-up. Furthermore, the plainly naked manipulation on display (“Look I’m in a tank! I support the military! Don’t think about how I promised to end the ‘Star Wars’ program!”) breaks a cardinal sin of American presidential campaigning: don’t insult the intelligence of the military.

At least that used to use to be a cardinal sin. Now, famously, we have a president who called fallen servicemen and women “suckers” and “losers” and saw his polling numbers…barely change at all. Covering up the seriousness of a disease that’s killed over 200,000 Americans, tanking an economy, instigating race riots, gassing protestors, refusing to condemn white supremacy — all of it adds up to a President who has more or less the same chance of winning now as he did at this point in 2016, which he would go on to win.

Which makes it darkly hilarious that we have all believed for so long that poor Mike Dukakis was done in by a looking like a doofus while standing in a tank. Hell, if Trump reenacted the tank photo now it would probably rank among his most presidential moments, because at least he would be wearing a fucking helmet.

Anyway, let’s take another trip down the Trivia Trail for some Friday afternoon edification! We’ll start with the election of 1988.

I. Current and former vice presidents always seem to be front-runners for presidential campaigns, which made it somewhat surprising to learn that when George H.W. Bush won in 1988, he was the first sitting vice president to win a presidential election since Martin Van Buren in 1836. (VP’s Lyndon Johnson and Gerald Ford ascended to the presidency via other avenues, of course.)

II. Speaking of President Van Buren, he was the only president in U.S. history who did not speak English as a first language. Born in the small village of Kinderhook, New York, Van Buren spoke Dutch as his mother tongue. He was, however, the first president born after the American Revolution, making him, technically, the first U.S. President born in the U.S.

III. Netherlands, where Dutch is the primary language, is Dutch for “lower countries”; approximately a third of the country falls below sea level.

IV. If the U.S. has a “lower countries”, I’d vote we give it to Florida. Most of the Florida peninsula lies less than 30 feet above sea level, and the state is home to the lowest state high point in the country. Need to feel adventurous but are afraid of heights? Why not summit Britton Hill? Florida’s highest “mountain”, it sits a paltry 345 feet above sea level; summiting it is as difficult as pulling your car to the side of a straight road.

V. For more impressive feats of mountaineering, check out this article about eighteen-year old Afghan hiker Fatima Sultani, who just summited Noshakh, the highest mountain in Afghanistan, to show the strength of Afghan women. Her hiking group, the first all Afghan team to summit Noshakh, aims to eventually hike Everest, making Fatima one of the youngest women to summit the world’s largest mountain. Not the youngest — that title would go to 13-year old Malavath Purna.

VI. On the subject of of incredibly impressive children — Oscar trivia buffs aught to know that the youngest ever Oscar nominee, in any category, goes to Justin Henry, who at 8 years old scored a nomination for playing the young boy in the Academy Award-winning divorce drama Kramer vs. Kramer.

VII. The Academy announced over the summer that the 2021 Oscars would be delayed two months to April 26, 2021, to allow a longer window of eligibility for movies in light of the COVID-19 pandemic. This marks only the fourth time in the 93-year history of the Oscars that the show has been delayed. The other three times? Flooding in LA in 1938, the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King in 1968 and the assignation attempt on Reagan in 1981. The latter two happened around the time of the ceremony, prompting the delay.

VIII. The 1984 U2 song “Pride (In the Name of Love)”, the second track on the band’s The Unforgettable Fire album, is a song about the assignation of MLK. However, the song’s most overt allusion to the killing, “Early morning, April 4 / shots ring out in a Memphis sky” is historically inaccurate. Dr. King was murdered at 6 in the afternoon, not the morning, prompting Bono to change the lyrics to “Early evening, April 4” when he now sings the song live.

IX. The Unforgettable Fire did O.K. for U2 in 1984, selling about 3 million copies in the U.S. It didn’t touch, however, the best-selling albums of that particular year. In fact, only 5 different albums topped the Billboard list at any point in 1984: Thriller, which came out in 1982 and was still dominating in early 1984; the Footloose soundtrack; Sports by Huey Lewis and the News; Born in the U.S.A. by Bruce Springsteen; and Purple Rain by Prince and the Revolution. Three of those five albums are among the highest selling albums of all time. I’ll let you guess which three.