Why Does No One Love ‘The Eyes of the Dragon’?
Among Stephen King fans, of which there are millions, I belong to a particularly small subgroup (of which there are, I don’t know, maybe 7): people whose favorite book by him is The Eyes of the Dragon. King’s little-loved children’s fairy tale, written in 1984, is considered by most of his Constant Reader cohort as little more than a curio, remarkable only for its disparity to normal Stephen King and its desultory connection to The Dark Tower universe.
But I love it. I love it so much I’ve read it at least 4 times. (I also listened to its fabulous audiobook, as read tremendously by Bronson Pinchot aka Balki Bartokomous from Perfect Strangers.) For someone whose famous strength is depicting the horror that lurks in the banality of small-town America, Stephen King writes wonderfully within the fairy tale setting, touching on everything from epic dragon battles to royal kingdom taxation with equal authority. His faraway land of Delain, the setting in The Eyes of the Dragon, evokes a pleasant, tangible nostalgia, and the book’s characters, while thinly drawn, have plausible motivations that make them easy to root for when the twists and turns of the plot crack into place.
(My favorite anecdote related to The Eyes of the Dragon: As he talked about in the introduction, Stephen King wrote this book for his then 13-year old daughter. This sounds adorable until you read it and by like page five, Stephen King is describing in detail the waning libido and erectile dysfunction of the Delain king, including a passage about the kingdom’s magician brewing up some primordial Viagra to help “forge the King’s iron.” Oh, to have Stephen King as a dad.)
Alas, most people don’t agree with me, and the reaction to The Eyes of the Dragon ranges from tepid at best — it remains one of the few major novels of King not to have a single TV or film adaptation — to hostile at worst. So with this next bit of trivia, let’s start on the Trivia Trail!
I. According to George Beahm’s The Stephen King Story, fan apathy over The Eyes of the Dragon inspired Stephen King’s next book, Misery. In case you’re unfamiliar, that book was about a deranged fan torturing her favorite writer because the writer decided to try something different.
II. Misery’s film adaptation featured the only Oscar-winning performance in a Stephen King adaptation — for Kathy Bates, of course, and her iconic, terrifying Annie Wilkes. Other actors to be nominated, but not win, for work in a Stephen King adaptation include Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie for Carrie, Morgan Freeman for The Shawshank Redemption, and Michael Clarke Duncan for The Green Mile.
III. Kathy Bates first film role was a minor part in 1971’s Taking Off, directed by Czech filmmaker Miloš Forman. Four years later, Forman would direct One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, one of only three films to sweep the “Big Five” Oscars: Best Picture, Actor, Actress, Director and Screenplay. The other two? 1934’s It Happened One Night and 1991’s The Silence of the Lambs.
IV. The author of the book One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Ken Kesey belonged to a group of artists and counterculture iconoclasts called The Merry Pranksters, who once drove cross-country together in a tie-died bus called the Further. That trip was the basis for Tom Wolfe’s landmark The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test, though contrary to what many believe, Tom Wolfe wasn’t on the bus.
V. There is apparently a robust market for (non LSD-laced) Kool Aid paraphernalia: A single packet of Yabba-Dabba Doo Berry could fetch you $225.
VI. It’s not just Flintstones Kool Aid that’s been tremendously successful; Flintstones Chewable Vitamins, which were invented in 1968, is one of the best-selling drug products of all time, thanks in part to successful ad campaigns created by people like Tom Kalinske. Whatever happened to him? Well, after hawking the cartoon-inspired, candy-flavored supplements, Kalinske was hired to run SEGA of America right at the birth of the company’s über-beloved video game console, the Sega Genesis.
VII. The Sega Genesis was briefly the most popular video game console in the world, thanks in large part to its iconic mascot, Sonic the Hedgehog. Likeable as Sonic’s design may have been, it resembled in almost no way real hedgehogs, which are nocturnal, decidedly not blue, and are born blind.
VIII. A phrase known as “Space Blindness” has entered the public discourse recently after being referenced in Netflix’s acclaimed new series Away. Receiving praise for its realism, the show seems to have gotten it correct with space blindness, or spaceflight-induced visual impairment, something that NASA is legitimately concerned about as commercial space flight lurks closer to reality. Apparently 2/3 of astronauts report sight problems after extended periods of time on the International Space Station
IX. Netflix is bringing the Father of the Bride band back together for a reunion and/or a sequel (it’s unclear). Also unclear as of now is whether recent Schitt’s Creek star and Emmy-winner Eugene Levy — who was in both Father of the Bride movies, albeit as different characters — will be back for this special. Schitt’s Creek, of course, just set all sorts of records: The beloved Canadian sitcom became the first sitcom ever to sweep all four major acting categories.
X. Other things from Canada? IMAX; the Wonderbra; peanut butter, and most important to me, of course: Trivial Pursuit!
